David Duchovny's sex act slip!

  John Wayne gives drunken speech

  Elvis insists he's not "strung out!"

  Mike Tyson's words of wisdom


Steve Ballmer goes nuts!


Ross Perot's sex secret!


ELVIS PRESLEY defends his fat belly and claims he is actually wearing a bullet-proof vest underneath his garish, studded outfit. Less than 20 months after this recording was made, Elvis died of a massive heart attack induced by a drug overdose while straining to produce a stubborn bowel movement in the third floor bathroom of his swanky Graceland mansion.

Related links:
Chocolate Fried Bananas (A meal fit for a King!)
Best Comfort Food in Nashville
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Freaky Franks
Fast Food Facts
Heart Attack Warning Signs
Pain Killers
The Betty Ford Center
American Obesity Association
National Institute on Drug Abuse
American Heart Association
Rapid Detox
Elvis gets pissed at the press
Read email from people offended by this rant

Our promise:
All celebrity dialogue is 100% authentic and uncut "open mic" recordings!

Get more Fat Elvis!
Hear additional Elvis rants like this on audio CD! The King gets liquored up and blows his cool on stage! All caught on tape! The album features 16 hilarious "open-mic" bloopers that were too outrageous to put on our web site! It's the Best of Celebrity Rants: Volume One! Now you can listen to these hilarious out-takes anywhere without the need for a damn computer! Buy now!



CelebrityRants.com is a work of parody and intended for entertainment purposes. This site is optimized for Windows XP and Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.0 or higher. Currently we do not support AOL or the Macintosh. © 2003 CelebrityRants, Inc. Celebrity Rants and the Celebrity Rants logo are trademarks of CelebrityRants, Inc. Unauthorized reproduction is strictly prohibited. No celebrity was harmed in the making of this site.

10.01.03 v6.0